Did you know athletes that eat throughout the day have lower percent body fat and report higher energy levels? Fueling the body with food every 3-4 hours is a good way to ensure that metabolism is firing and the body is performing at it’s peak. That’s why snacks made our list of things to pack in your athletic bag.

When your child is upset, you want to find the right words and actions to be helpful. Dr. Jodi Galin has written some strategies to help you parent your teen in times of distress.

Here are some strategies to try to comfort your teen:

1 – Be present for your child. Many teens will be comforted just by your presence.

2 – Stay in the room with your child. You don’t need to say much. Some will just want you there with them. Others may appreciate a gentle touch or back rub.

3 – Some teenagers may need some alone time to pull themselves together before spending time with you. Take your cues from your child.

4 – When your child has stopped crying or calmed down, he or she may want to share the story of the rejection with you. Some teens may need some prompting to help them get the story out. Try commenting on their emotional experience, “I am sorry you are so hurt/upset/sad.” Or use open ended prompts like, “what happened?”

5 – Remember most people are comforted by feeling heard. So, your number one job is nurturing by helping your child feel heard.

6 – Once your child is talking about the event, you can interject with questions for more details. For example, “what did the coach say?” or “did your friend say anything to you?”

7 – Don’t offer details of what happened to you or someone you know when they had a team rejection. This is not the right time for such a discussion. Your focus needs to remain on listening.

8 – This is not the time for making a plan for whatever other activities your teen may enjoy instead of “soccer.” Give your teenager a little time to heal. There is plenty of time over the next few days/weeks/months for expanding your child’s interests and activities.

9 – Keep in mind this is a significant life rejection and a huge loss for your teenager. Healing can be slow. Don’t be surprised by sadness, anger, and frustration turned toward the self for being a “failure.”

10 – As a parent, you will have opportunities to help your teen see him/herself as full of abilities, interests, friendships, and great life potential. Your first job though is nurturing and listening.

Remember that this feeling of loss may continue throughout the soccer season as Sam is not with his friends on the team, does not have his time filled with practices and games, and may hear his friends discussing their soccer experiences. Your ongoing support will be necessary.
Eventually your guidance to help Sam connect to other family, school, athletic, or work experiences is going to be crucial.

Written by Jodi R. Galin, PhD

Even the most nurturing parent is challenged when his/her child experiences a huge rejection. Many kids experience being cut from a team as a significant rejection.

Consider the following events and tips for “best practice” parenting.

Sam’s story:

Sam began playing soccer around first grade. At first he played on non-competitive town leagues. As he got older and his skills improved, he joined the more competitive travel league. There he developed close friendships as well as a true love for the game. In ninth grade he made the freshmen team at his public high school. He continued to love the game and played on and off season with his friends of many years. However, sophomore year the competition was just too steep, and he was cut from his high school team when all of the sophomores, juniors, and seniors competed for the coveted varsity and junior varsity spots. Several of Sam’s closest friends made the junior varsity, one stellar player even made the varsity team.

Sam came home from school devastated with his news of rejection. He cried uncontrollably, slammed doors, and shut himself in his room. Sam’s parents wanted to help him but were not quite sure how.

Psychologist Response:

There are a few basic pieces of information that would be helpful for parents to realize.
Not every teenager will have that same emotional reaction. There is a huge range of what is normal, from no tears to many.
As much as you may want to, you can’t take away your child’s emotional pain. Sam experienced a significant rejection, loss of his soccer team, loss of time with close friends, and blow to his self-definition. Your child’s pain is beyond your control.
Worrying about your child is normal.

The next post will be specific strategies to help your teen cope with a loss.

If you’re like the majority of high school sports parents, your athlete has been playing “x” since an early age. Having the sport end in high school is rarely part of the plan. But what if the student-athlete title changes to student-only or your athlete changes sports?

How would you handle this?

In this series, a licensed psychologist will address the topics of loss and how to support your teen as his/her high school athlete identity changes. She will “coach” you using practical examples and concrete recommendations. I’m going to add practical tips to investigate alternative ways to be part of the high school and local community.

Fall sports have started. If you’re like me, you went through the equipment checklist, filled out the mandatory school forms, noted practice times and game times on your calendar, set up a car pool, and hope you didn’t forget anything.

But what else do you need to think about to best parent your high school athlete?

Developmentally, high schools students go through tremendous change physically, intellectually and emotionally. High school student-athletes go through all the same changes and then some. Parenting a student-athlete can be easier if you equip yourself with good information.

One topic that is not often discussed openly is drug and alcohol use in high school. Athletes in our school sign a commitment policy that enforces strict “just say no” guidelines. We know from experience (remember Nancy Reagan) this simple solution is not enough. How can we help our teens stay healthy and avoid the lure of drugs and alcohol?

Good information is key. Time to Talk is an excellent resource for parents. It covers all types of drugs (including steroids) and alcohol and helps parents get the education they need to start discussions with their teens.

We are in it together.

One of our favorite sites Recruiting 101 has a page that makes it easy to connect with college coaches. The Go Big Recruiting page is easy to navigate and quickly gets the word about your athlete.

They have over 1900 coaches on board and concentrate on 5 sports. Right now, they focus on football, baseball, softball, basketball (M/W) and lacrosse (M/W). I’m guessing this list will expand in time.

Send us a review.

First read up on the basics of vitamin D.

Then, take a closer look about what getting enough Vitamin D means to athletes. Many aren’t getting enough but there is such a thing as too much!

Consumer Reports just released information on 12 supplements to avoid. Promising everything from improved immune function to weight loss (and with virtually no evidence to back up the claims), these ingredients can have dangerous side effects. Check this list and make sure they are nowhere near your athletes.

Effective July 1st, new laws have been put in place to increase awareness about head injuries. According to the Brain Injury Association of America, cycling, football, basketball and soccer top the list of sports that result in concussions. When 20-percent of all football players sustain a concussion per season, more needs to be done to make sure these injuries are being identified and treated appropriately.

Legislation Highlights:

• Coaches are required to take a training course prior to the start of the season
• Coaches are required to remove players from play if they exhibit symptoms
• Athletes must get WRITTEN clearance from a medical professional to return to play

Read more »

Take the time to read this complete post about concussions. It comes from a group focused on youth sports parenting.

What action will you be taking?