Family Vacations and The High School Athlete

October 30th, 2009 by Varsity Parenting · 1 Comment · Articles of Interest


What did those wise people say to you when you were comforting your crying 3 year old at the beach? “Little people, little problems, big athletes, forget about vacations or the beach.”  Maybe I’m making that up. How did my life as a parent in control of my family’s schedule turn into this complicated matrix? It seems whenever I land on life’s decision making tree, the first question I ask is, “Wait, let me check the kid’s sport’s schedule.”  You know what I’m talking about.

Times have changed; off -season sports camps, year round training  AND competition appear to be standard requirements for high school athletes. Joan, a Varsity Parent in Ohio, told us she has not celebrated Christmas with her extended family in 5 years. Her son’s basketball schedule goes straight through the holiday season and he would be penalized if he missed practice or a game. Mary Margaret, a Varsity Parent in Tennessee, struggles with summer holidays. Her daughter is an elite swimmer and competes across the southeastern US during the summer months and follows a rigorous training schedule.

So, what’s reasonable? If your family schedule revolves around your athlete’s schedule, you get those,”Wow, you have to stay home during the holidays for his practice? That must be so hard on the family.” Or, “We would never do that to our family. It’s not like high school athletes are professionals.” OK, so who has the better point -  me, for trying to support my athlete by following the rules or those who say “team be damned, family time is more important?”

Let’s face it, these are personal family decisions that do come with consequences. Either with missed family traditions and visiting with relatives or with missed games that can turn into bench sitting when your athlete returns to play.   Our advice, stick up for yourself, you had to make a tough decision, whichever one you choose is right for your family and athlete. And, if not, try it another way next year.



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1 response so far ↓

  • 1 maggie // Nov 5, 2009 at 5:45 pm

    I agree that there really isn’t a great answer to this one, though setting expectations prior to the season with your child, your immediate and extended family, and the coach will help. Also….probably important to think about, as a parent, the type of attitude you display in response to this issue. I’ve been guilty of misdirecting my frustration at my child/athlete rather than the situation—acting like the crying 3 year old on the beach that you described. That certainly doesn’t help the situation! I have learned that rather than thinking of it as having to ‘give-up’ holiday or school vacation time, to think of it as a gift of staying together, saving some money for a trip at a different time. There is psychological literature (I’ll have to look for a reference) that more you invest in your child’s athletic commitment (either financial or time), the greater your expectation may be for him/her to perform, the greater the expectation they place on themselves. This can become unhealthy and needs to be kept in check.

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