Hey Parents of High School Athletes, my name is Ghille. I am a former multi-sport high school athlete, recruited athlete, and Division I lacrosse player. Andrea and Dana asked me to share some thoughts with you from the athlete’s perspective. I played soccer, indoor track, and lacrosse in high school and was captain of a DI lacrosse team, so I have an array of experiences to take from.  Hope my memories are helpful.

To start off, no one doubts your unconditional support for your child.  And considering that you are taking the time to learn the do’s and don’ts in parenting a high school athlete I’d say you’re off to a good start.

Every athlete is different. Everyone has their own particular “rituals” if you will, that they follow before, during, and after a game. I knew a girl once that liked to have a diet coke and chocolate bar before every game because that settled her nerves, but I also knew a girl who couldn’t eat a thing because her nerves would most likely cause her to end up in the bathroom. Both girls were amazing athletes who got it done on the field, but I would consider them polar opposites on the pre-game ritual spectrum!

On that note, there are a few things that I would recommend to all parents raising a high school athlete:

Before a Game:

DO encourage and be there as a support system.

You want your athlete to be in a state of focused intensity before they step on to the field.  In those few minutes before the game when they realized they grabbed their little sisters cleats and not their own, it is not the right moment for a discussion on preparation.  It happens to the best of us, but getting frustrated with your athlete for being spaced out or forgetful will only make matters worse.  Encourage your athlete to prepare their sports bag the night before.  Like most people, athletes find comfort in preparation – it allows them to focus their energy  – not on finding their cleats mouth guard, game shirt, favorite water bottle, etc. before the game starts, but on themselves and the game ahead.

DO make sure they get enough sleep.

A full night of sleep (> 8 hours) two nights before the event will help your athlete.  Most people think it’s only the night before that matters, but that is not the case.   Set some guidelines with your athlete on when they should be home. They want to do well in the game, so come up with an achievable plan. Careful about throwing in the word “curfew”, I always felt compelled to break it. You know, teenagers and all.

DO make sure they are eating and drinking enough before a game.

Dana covers this topic really well. Check out her posts for more details. And alcohol is NOT the best thing to offer your child to calm her nerves. I can’t say who offered this, but…you parents know who you are.

DON’T force big meals on them.

My mum was always very good about the hydrating factor before a game by giving me water and sports drink, but always felt the need to prepare a Thanksgiving size meal before I ran out the door.  Perhaps it was her maternal instinct. Big bowls of pasta are thoughtful, but not practical.  Before games most athletes are full of all kinds of emotions, from feelings of gut wrenching fear to shear excitement. Give them a small snack that they can enjoy, that doesn’t weigh them down. I had my snack two hours before game time. Provide them with the energy they need for the game without causing them to crash, or worse, run off the field mid-game to throw up the bowl of pasta you so lovingly prepared. And yes, this has happened. Again, Dana covers food choices in her posts.

DON’T add extra weight to this game

Very important: do not bring up how important this game may be “for their future.”  Your job is to help them relax, be in the moment, and remind them it’s just a game.  It may be the only game where the scout from your child’s #1 college choice has a chance to see your child play, but hold off on bring that up. They already know who is watching. Reminding them feels like unnecessary pressure.

DON’T stress them out

Be very thoughtful about when you want to discuss failings or disappointments. A friend of mine always got a lecture about poor test scores or grades right around game day. That was tough.

As an athlete, a useful skill to develop is the ability to compartmentalize. An unhelpful skill is to get flooded with pressure from all areas of your life, all at the same time. Just because your athlete may not vocalize every thought that goes through their mind does not mean they aren’t aware.  They know how important the game is, they know that the SATs are important, and failing a test never feels good. Overall, your child is probably harder on him/herself than you realize.

Bottom Line: Help them focus on the task at hand. Save the academic & social reviews for later. Overwhelming them is never helpful.

STAY TUNED FOR MY NEXT POST: DO’S & DON’TS DURING A GAME